Daily Positive Morning Affirmations for Personal Transformation

Jim Rohn - Habits To Build A Better You (Personal Development)

Emotional-Behavioural Patterns

Emotional-behavioural patterns seem, on the face of it, to bypass some important aspects of human psychology. Where are the mental, the energetic, and specifically the physical and will forces? Emotional-behavioural patterns seem to imply some emotion or feeling that plugs directly into a demonstration of some kind and describes some predictable line of repetitive unfolding, sounding mechanistic and negative.

So far so good, in our understanding of emotional-behavioural patterns. However, there is a place for thinking, for energy, as well as for the corporeal and motivational. Although these patterns are not a specialty in human psychology, our observation of human behaviour, both inner and outer, leads us, fairly soon, to observe the repetitive nature of human beings. Outwardly, facial expressions, bodily gestures, speed of movement, sequence of behaviour, standard of behaviour expressing values and preoccupations, predispositions, prejudices, and level of awareness are enough to have us throwing up our arms in dismay: how, in what way, and by means of what is the human animal differentiated from any creature whose consciousness emanates from and is dominated by the base chakras of fear, survival, belonging, and acquisition?

Mostly, by far, human beings live their lives in a state of emergency, under conditions of survival, fearing the worst, expecting disaster, dreaming of terrible violence, poverty, paucity, anticipating the ravages of time, the onset of distress, calamity, and failure -- in short, imagining a tragedy of life a million times worse than what will, in all likelihood, ever happen to them.

What are we to make of this? Do we genuinely live in a state of desperation anything like the one we fear? Is our state of terror in any way equal to the threat actually posed? Does our level of anxiety in any way represent a balanced response to what might happen to us?

The fear of poverty, I have noticed, is usually more prevalent in people who have access to more than average funds. The fear of death in those who are not even ill, let alone terminally ill. The fear of loneliness (in old age, for example) more present in those who seem, on the face of it, more attractive prospects for companionship. What do we make of this? Fear masquerades as panic, paralysis, and hysteria, among other emotions, hides in dread, desperation, intimidation, and hesitancy, and is thinly disguised in worry, jitteriness, and uptightness. People today are shy, distraught, contracted, agitated, tense, and apprehensive, which are all signs of fear.

The former psychotherapist, now writer, and spiritual and social commentator, Stephanie Dowrick, points out that the fear of death is part of the infant's early experience, according to Melanie Klein. Dowrick goes on to say:

This is the fear of 'nothingness,' against which humankind has throughout history woven stories to promise 'somethingness.' Heaven, reincarnation, the sphere beyond... let me know through my body that I am alive, because it is certainly my body which will be unequivocally dead. (Stephanie Dowrick, Intimacy and Solitude, p.157)

She goes on to discuss sex, drinks at the bar, and human contact as ways to avoid fear, loneliness, feelings of unlovableness, and abandonment... but the ultimate is the avoidance of death. Fear of death conceals a deeper fear, as I have written about before:

To live -- to truly live -- there is really only one fear to overcome. Only one fear because it is the one which comprises all the others. That is the fear of death. Within this mighty fear is our denial of life, our avoidance of life, our lack of courage in life, and ultimately our fear of life. Fear of death is fear of life and now you sense what the journey of self-discovery has been all about. It is the shedding of fear in the form of our obsession with survival, our terror of not existing, our urge to rise out of the ground of being and realize ourselves as (and here is the great point of choice) our individual, separate self or as the true Self. (Richard Harvey, Moksha Dawn, p.42)

The mechanics of the emotional-behavioural patterns are as effective and predictable as they are proscriptive and confining... we fear our death; we fear our fear -- but our greatest fear is our fear of life:

Emotional-behavioural patterns are the automatic ways in which we react to life-automatic because that's how we avoid risk and insecurity. We fear fear! We fear the unexpected. We fear uncertainty. Just look at someone walking into any new environment, because it's easier to observe others -- but better still look at yourself. You plan what you will say, how you act, and how you will relate. You have a repertoire of possibility and safety. You react within the parameters of these anticipated circumstances and your rehearsed "responses." (Richard Harvey, "Liberation from Conditioning: An Interview on the Sacred Attention Therapy Project")

Life is so nailed down for most of us, there is no room for the surprising, the spontaneous --for an eruption of the sacred. With regard to "the emerging sacred reality" the author Ken Carey writes:

Fear has a small role to play in Creation. It functions as a warning system, advising each creature of behaviour that might cause biological damage. Its role is to protect the physical body. It was never meant to motivate human beings. Where fear is honored as a source motivation, consciousness diminishes... The Fall occurred when human attention turned to fear... (Ken Carey, Vision, P.9, my italics)

We have arrived at a simple truth: the fear that underlies our selling-out our humanity and enacting our lives through self-imposed emotional-behavioural patterning was never intended to be our mode of living, hiding behind the anachronistic need for protection, feeling "safe" through repressing the life-force.

Fear of death is fear of surrender to Infinity.

Learn to surrender, to exist at Infinity while alive, and fear of death dissolves.

Fear of death is fear of the Unknown.

So says Adi Da Samraj in The Eating Gorilla Comes in Peace. The unknown awaits the one who sheds his emotional-behavioural patterns. It is something wonderful -- what Rumi might call "a surprise of roses" -- but then it is utterly ordinary and quite mundane. Life itself flows very close to you and when you are released from your patterning, it pours through you like a great refreshing torrent.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10079716

Dr. Romance on Winning the War Within

Do you sometimes feel locked in a struggle with yourself? I know I do. Why is it that we know what we want to do, but it's such a struggle to actually get it done? Even Saint Paul writes, in a letter to the Romans, "I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do." Even the most successful people wind up struggling with procrastination, overeating, overspending, drinking too much, saying things you don't mean, or getting involved with the wrong people. As I work with my clients, the issue of internal struggle comes up over and over again. #0160; What's going on? It's inner warfare: a fight with yourself.

Internal warfare produces a constant noise in one's mind, as the voices of opposing thoughts become locked in never-ending argument, which makes clear thinking almost impossible. Whenever the inner war rages, you will use poor judgment in the important decisions of your life, because a substantial part of your thinking ability is hampered. Just imagine trying to think in a room where two people are arguing about everything, most of the time!

When you can't think clearly:

* You are not able to understand the intuitive information you are receiving that could tell you who is trustworthy and who is unreliable;

* You are not able to evaluate all the options available to you and make clear decisions; and

* You cannot sort out the difference between realistic options and options that are too pessimistic or too optimistic to serve as the basis of a good decision.

In addition, the exhaustion resulting from constant turmoil causes you to "forget" or feel unable to think clearly about your circumstances and your actions, which leads you to be dependent on others to do your thinking for you.

As long as it goes on this way, the inner war is unwinnable, since all sides feel equally right, and equally powerful. Even if one side could win, you'd be operating at half power, unable to think clearly, or unable to feel feelings; which is what happens to many people. Just as in wars in the external world, both sides inevitably pay a heavy price.

When you learn how to manage your thinking and get all sides to negotiate and work together, you create a problem-solving team that is both intuitive and rational, creative and practical. Only when your internal war is settled, and both sides form a working partnership, can you use the full power of your thinking ability.

To achieve this inner teamwork, take small steps in the beginning:

* When feelings of embarrassment, unworthiness, shame, or fear arise, just slow down and give yourself a chance to relax.

* Don't push or criticize yourself, but reassure and encourage yourself past the problem.

Discussing issues with yourself, asking yourself questions, and comforting yourself are hard concepts to understand, because part of you is focused on others, not on yourself. Even once you understand how to confront your inner feelings, you may resist at first, because you feel confused, ashamed or embarrassed. Old, ingrained subconscious beliefs that your feelings are frightening, and that you're unworthy of attention are fighting with your new, rational adult knowledge that you are important to you.

Once you negotiate an internal truce, you can become a new kind of person, within whom both the intuitive, feeling part and the rational, acting part work together for the common good, without a "good guy" or "bad guy", or winner and loser, but seeking to solve problems so that both sides are satisfied. Negotiation, communication. and partnership become an integral part of your relationship with yourself, producing a sense of wholeness and power that give you the confidence to take risks and the motivation to get things done. It truly takes the self-image of a warrior, at times, to continue the hero's journey toward fully living life.

I wish you peace: within yourself, within your family, within the world.

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counselling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the "Dr. Romance" blog, and the "Happiness Tips from Tina" email newsletter.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10083397

7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Self Improvement by Stephen Covey

The Universal and the Particular

When you write or speak about personal growth you encounter two jostling rocks which you need to negotiate your way through. On the one hand, in your attempts to systematize or plot a course in order to give some form to the inner journey, you specify and simplify elements and sign posts. On the other hand, you must never lose sight of the individual's uniqueness. So for almost every generalization you recognize that what you propose as the rule to follow may just as easily be broken and prove to be the exception. Generalization versus uniqueness! Yet it is just this point that distinguishes authentic art and real creativity from mere daubing, hack art, and empty contrivance.

The great books, paintings, sculptures, and dramas tend to have this single point in common - they express the universal through the particular. The impersonal appears out of the personal! And this is how it should be, because in the deepest darkness of the human mystery known as the psyche an impersonal seam of truth lies awaiting the convulsions of the land of the soul and spirit, an earthquake of the power and magnitude of those that erupt and reveal mighty huge crystal caves that lay for thousands of years beneath the earth's surface.

Deep within us are the luminous, crystal caves of the soul. Reaching into them is a journey of daring. Not all receive the call to this adventure. But for those of us who are called there is an intense rightness about the path to the core of ourselves, an intense and growing realization that, without the discoveries the call yields, we remain unborn and denied the fresh vistas of life's treasures, which are so expansive, so deep, that our previous life pales in comparison.

It is as if we are waking up - and must wake up -- to some new dimension of life and, as with all calls to new life, the process begins with an invitation, a gateway, to change and transformation. This gateway is an archetype - recurring patterns in human behavior, universal symbols and motifs. But the reward demands a certain effort.

Let us draw on the myth of the heroic journey that essentially is comprised of these three elements: the call to adventure, the adventure with its trials and initiatory events, and finally the return with the gift for collective society. The journey requires willingness, receptivity, courage, resilience, faith, and surrender.

For many however, resistance or refusal to hear the call is the first challenge. For human beings are prone to delusions of safety and security. These delusions stand between them and the adventure of change and transformation. The more radical and great the adventure they are called to, the more resistance and struggle they are liable to experience. Psychologically this is known as attachment. Our first attachment is to our mother and the dynamics of the relationship and the narrative of how that evolved in our early lives comprises the familiar and "safe" holding pattern that is likely to preside over our lives.

We are shaken out of our attachment to our ordinary world. The life we have structured and scheduled around this familiarity is our comfort zone and our comfort zone can easily become the stagnant pond of our lives. We may fear the call to the unknown, hesitate at the risk involved, grow fearful of what we must give up and leave behind, feel apprehensive about what others might think of our reckless behavior, and falter at the perceived cost to ourselves and the life we have known. As we track back we can see the times in our lives when we were called to new adventure to change, to the new gateways of developing life. Perhaps a letter or an email, reading an inspiring passage in a book, or hearing a catalytic speaker who opens us up, the sight of a person we haven't met before, a challenging job offer or a promotion, the chance to move to another country... or of course starting therapy.

For those of us who persist in to the further reaches of personality work we encounter the ultimate call on the childhood egoic level that call is to finally release all.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10083934

How to Overcome Indecision and Doubt

I used to be caught in indecision about nearly everything in my life.

I even had a poster in my dorm room in college that was a quote from Harvard professor Harvey Cox:

"Not to decide is to decide."

I put it up as a kind of joke about how indecisive I was and my boyfriend at the time (now my husband) just rolled this eyes. (Yes, he married me anyway-I was very decisive about that one!)

The truth is, not deciding is a decision. Life keeps moving forward and if you don't make a decision, one will naturally be made for you. And that is the very thing that keeps you stuck. Stuck in a bad relationship, an unfulfilling career, unhealthy habits or destructive thought patterns. Fear of making the wrong decision is what causes people to stay in those stuck places, never living out their true potential and highest joy.

So, what can you do to make good decisions without the fear and doubt?

The answer lies with tuning in to your intuition and higher guidance. It's there for all of us, if we learn to pay attention to it.

What is Intuition?

Researchers at Leeds University say intuition is a very real psychological process where the brain uses past experiences and cues from the self and the environment to make a decision. The decision happens so quickly that it doesn't register on a conscious level. It's the way the subconscious mind communicates with the conscious mind and is a real "gut" feeling.

What is Higher guidance?

Higher guidance is your connection to your higher self, or soul-to universal wisdom. Your higher self is the authentic you-the pure expression of love, joy and wisdom. It's that larger, spiritual part of you that is eternal and connects you to the whole. You are always connected to it-you just need to pay attention to it! You can access guidance from your higher self with practice and feel confident in your decisions.

How to hone your intuition and connect to your higher guidance:

1. Create quiet time where you won't be distracted. Disconnect from your phone, computer and interruptions for 15 to 20 minutes every day. Calm yourself down by focusing on your breathing, following it with your mind's eye into your lungs, and back up and out. Allow thoughts to come up and drift away without judgement. Just "be" in the present moment. As you practice this, you'll begin to feel a sense of relief from the bombardment of "noise" that we experience throughout the day. You'll be able to quiet yourself more quickly and easily. The only way to hear the inner voice of your higher self is in stillness and silence. You can imagine your higher self as a warm, loving energy, or any image that works for you. Ask your question as you sit down, then let it go. The conscious mind, or ego, will try to answer if you are trying to "figure it out." Let go of any "efforting." You may receive an answer as you are sitting, or be led to something that is the perfect solution later on.

2. Be open to how you receive guidance. It can come in the form of feelings, words, images, or a sudden "knowing." It can be in the form of several people recommending a certain book, or a seeming coincidence. Your higher self will always feel like love, lightness, or happiness. If you are feeling tension, anxiety or fear, that's your ego talking and not true guidance.

3. Pay attention to your dreams. As you are falling asleep, ask for guidance on a question or unresolved issue you may have. Your dreams are your brain's way of processing information from the day. It's also a time when you are offering no resistance and both the subconscious and super conscious can most easily connect with you. Keep a journal and pen by your bedside so you can write down any insights immediately upon wakening, before they fade. Journaling is also a good way of gaining clarity if the dream images don't make obvious sense right away.

4. Trust your "gut" feelings. Research has shown that emotion and intuition have a physical presence in the gut. There is a network of neurons, sometimes called the "second brain" and known scientifically as the enteric nervous system lining the gut. When you get a contracted feeling in your gut that something is wrong, trust it and when you get a thrill of "This is it!" trust that.

The key is to be present in the moment and to practice the ability to become still and listen inward. However your guidance shows up for you will be just right.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10100529

Traveling Through Transitions? These 3 Tips Help!

Our lives ask us to rise to the challenge of change on a daily basis. But step back and think about it for a second. Do you really feel prepared for each transition that comes around the bend?

Well, today I'd like to share 3 Timely Tips that can help you successfully navigate the twists and turns of your journey as you move through the transitions that your life presents.

Tip #1: Create Your Transitional Toolbox.

Each challenge is unique. So you benefit by developing varied skills and resources for new situations. I call this your transitional toolbox. Your toolbox contains both personal skills that you can call upon in times of change and practical, concrete tools and supplies to keep on hand. For example, you might keep a stash of tasty prepared meals in the freezer to keep yourself well nourished during crunch times.

Here are some general pointers to support and sustain your resilience in times of transition.

1.     Plan ahead for transitions. The larger the potential disruption, the more time you need to prepare for it.

2.     As you plan for your transition, brainstorm a list of essentials you'll want ready access to no matter what. Then separate the items on your list into categories.

·         Within each category, identify your best sources for stocking up on necessities quickly and economically. For online shopping, you can streamline your process by creating a list of links that take you straight to products you regularly reorder. Or you can create wish lists on your favorite sites, for quick access.

·         Consider stockpiling small, inexpensive items to avoid delays that cost you time and energy when you can least afford it. You could also consider automatic shipments for items you need to restock frequently.

Tip #2: Learn from Your Successes.

Overwhelm creates amnesia. Refuse to forget your triumphs in times of transition! They offer rich lessons for what look like "insoluble" challenges... but usually are not!

Make a list of transitions you've weathered successfully. From this list, pick one or two that pertain to your current situation. First, simply be with the satisfaction of having met those challenges. Feels good, doesn't it?

Now, remind yourself of the choices you made that supported you. List practical steps in one column, and inner strengths you relied upon in another. These are all tools that are currently available in your Transition Toolbox.

There are several ways you can build from here:

·         Which of these skills and attributes can help you now? Where, and how? Create some brief action steps that you can accomplish in a single setting. Schedule them in.

·         Conduct an intuitive overview. Survey your list of successful transitions to give yourself a snapshot of how you approach change when you are on your game. Validate your capability and adaptability. Feel where in your body you access the resourcefulness and flexibility you need. This is your power center - let it be your base.

Tip #3: When You Resist Change, You Lose Momentum.

Whenever you build your life on unchanging routines, you lock stress into your life. You will forever be knocked off balance by new developments. This generates more stress, leading to more inflexibility! To break this cycle, ask yourself:

·         What change are you resisting? (Be as specific as you can.)

·         What strengths do you bring, to help you open to this situation?

·         What gains can you appreciate, as you work to recognize and release the losses?

The best preparations for the unknown involve groundedness, versatility and agility. Your transitional toolbox includes your personal resourcefulness, the lessons and energy you can derive from past successful transitions, and the staples you keep on hand.

So value your autonomy, your practicality and the concrete tools you give yourself. Combined, these provide you with the strength and flexibility to move through whatever comes your way.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10110957

Your Habits Are Your Personality

This article is to explore and test the concept of altering the personality through changes of habitual patterns for the purpose of attaining emotional freedom from fears and inhibitions, resulting in healthy self-esteem.

This is the first article in a short series about the relationship between habits and personality, and how to effect permanent, positive changes to ones personality through working with habits. This first article will give the background on habits in respect to this principle and the relationship to personality.

The method of changing habits is perhaps the easiest and most effective way to refine and change ones life.

All good and bad in our life is due to our personality, who we are as an individual. This is because our personality determines how we behave and the resulting ways people react to us.

Your personality is a collection of habits. Most of our life experiences are limited, or expanded, by our habits. For example, if you have a habitual pattern for when you wake up, if you need to brush your teeth, have a shower, do certain things you like to do, and for that you require the comforts of your own home, then you may be reluctant to travel, or not have a good time travelling. There will be resistance to different environments, and so a fear of travel or at least a limit of where you are willing to travel to will limit your experiences and direct knowledge.

There are habits for every aspect of our life. Eating, sleeping, walking, health related, and more importantly; communication, relationships and working habits.

An example of a communication habit, which will effect your relationships, is if when having a conversation, you always cut people off in mid-sentence, always interrupting. Or you may always contradict what anyone says to show you know more than they do.

Perhaps you are always justifying your mistakes and actions, never admitting when you are wrong. Or, you are a compulsive liar.

You may communicate in a way that you never say anything about yourself, and always just ask questions because you think that makes people feel better around you, but in fact it is because you do not want to open up and make a connection. You may agree with anything anyone says, and flip flop showing no opinions of your own.

These are just some examples of habits but you will find your own as we progress in this series. Not all habits are bad. We have many good habits, but again, the point at this stage is to establish that our personality is a collection of habitual, and thus learnt and formed, behaviour. Once we openly see that we are formed, then we can change any habit.

Conversely, you may have a habit of trying new things, perhaps you travel each year to a new country so you can experience new foods and cultures. Or you may have a habit of talking to new people randomly, and making new friends.

Our life experiences are determined by our habits. Habits perpetuate fears and limitations, or they can enhance our life experiences.

Now we come to the point, which is, how to improve our personality. Everyone has some flaws in their personality that they do not like which are self-destructive or limiting, and want to change, but do not know how.

The problem is that many methods are dealing with the leaves on the tree instead of the roots. If you look at the character trait, rather than the mechanical function of how the mind works to perpetuate it, it is like cutting the leaves to kill the tree, new leaves will grow back.

My proposition is that the personality is a collection of habits, and by changing any and many habits, we can change the entire personality. The analogy is that the personality is the leaves rather than the core of our being, and the psychological function of how habits are developed and maintained is the root of the problem.

By working on the root, habits, things can permanently change. The root in our method is the basis of how humans function, which is robotically and habitually, but yet unaware of this purely mechanical function. If you don't know it's broken or what the real source is, you cannot fix a problem.

Many character traits are simply acquired by the process of natural human development from birth by observation and imitation. There is no negative reason behind some habits, they just form due to your being raised a certain way, such as the use of fingers or cutlery when eating, even the way which one holds ones cutlery. Or, if you are Malaysian, you use a fork and spoon but do not use a knife, for example.

There is nothing inherently wrong with using a fork and spoon and not be able to use a knife. This is an example of a neutral habit, and one that is perfect to change. Not all habits are good or bad or formed to meet some subconscious purpose.

Some habits are just cultural and form you into who you are. And this is the key, that they are formed without any conscious thought about being good, bad or relevant, and if there is a better way.

We can all change and no longer live in the limitations of outdated methods or principles to which their purpose has degraded over generations of mindless repetition. You have a choice, if you put in the effort to change what you have been formed into, you can become more than just a normal human.

Speed of Change

Children learn fast because they do not have habits. Adults learn slowly because they are full of habits. Habits limit learning because any new information has to pass through the pre-existing habitual behaviour.

An example of the limitation to learning is if one interrupts others mid-sentence, they never hear a full explanation of things, and thus only learn half, or perhaps nothing. If you do this or know someone who does, you will also know that many mistakes are made due to someone working with partial information. Ninety percent of arguments could be avoided by the correction of this single habit.

Open Your Mind

To open your mind and overcome all negative qualities, we can use the approach of eliminating all habits, right down to the way you brush your teeth or which hand holds the fork and knife.

It is actually quite a simple thing to do, merely, do anything and everything differently, as long as it does not cause harm. For example, you would not want to start driving a car with your eyes closed instead of looking around. But you may want to start paying more attention when driving to continually check the wing and rear view mirrors and not just look in front of you, so you have a constant awareness of what is near your car.

As your habits change, so will your personality. At this point, you may resist this concept with the thought that your personality may change for the worse. The answer is in the comparison of an adult to a child. Just look at people of all ages and compare the energy, facial expressions, vibrancy; which shows their overall joy for life, and you will find the younger the person, the brighter they are.

We can all have that same youthful joy through very old age by simply returning to this one difference. To have, or not to have, as many habits as possible.

The process begins with the following exercise.

For the next 2 or 3 weeks, list every habit you have.

When you notice a habit, just put it on a list. There is nothing more to do at this point, just list them.

Examples of habits are detailed above and some other examples are:

Always have a coffee first thing in the morning.

When you wake up, you have a sort of ritual, the things you do in a specific order before you do anything else.

The way you eat, any eating habits.

How do you converse? Do you interrupt people when they talk, or have any other consistent reaction during conversations?

Any tiny little habit, or big habit is to be discovered and noted.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10118817