Do not take life
too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
-- Elbert Hubbard
Last week I was offered another lesson at the indoor pool where I swim. Sunday, it seems, has become everyone's favorite day. The pool was packed. Lane designations are important when it's crowded, and two lanes are reserved for slower, leisurely swimmers--like me.
So, I was in the
first leisure lane with two other swimmers, while another very slow swimmer was
in the second lane. Things were flowing well until three guys got into
the second leisure lane with the slower swimmer. They were much faster
and kept running into him--literally.
I got upset and
finally spoke to the guys, who had gathered at the end of the pool as I was
getting out. I was fairly centered, friendly, curious, and assertive.
I asked if this was a new pool for them (no, they'd come a few times),
and if they knew that some lanes were reserved for slower swimmers (yes,
they knew that). Then, as if in reply to my silence, they
said, "We're slow!" I laughed and said they seemed pretty
fast to me. At the same moment, they noticed a swimmer leaving the medium lane
and decided to move over.
I felt okay about
the interaction. Glad that I'd had the courage of my convictions, and also
wishing I'd been maybe a little more centered. I like to practice centering by
thinking in percentages. And I was maybe 60-70% in that moment. If I'd been
100%, instead of laughing, I might have listened more, and then explained that
in my experience at this pool, they were fast swimmers for that lane.
Rule #6
Benjamin Zander,
conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, author and motivational speaker, writes
about creating a life that works, and the influence we have in helping others
to do the same. One of his lessons and best stories revolves
around what he calls "Rule #6", which is:
Don't take yourself
so g--damn seriously.
5 Practices
I'm pretty familiar
with this mental habit of taking myself too seriously, and have five practices
that help me catch myself. They fall into two categories:
Committed Practices
1) I meditate
daily. A brief time to sit quietly and do nothing each day is restorative over
the long term.
2) I
exercise. Personally, I enjoy swimming and walking, and do one or both every day.
Rituals and
Spontaneous Practices
3) I catch myself. I notice the
mental or physical tension and relax. Try it now: lower your shoulders,
lengthen your spine, and feel the weight of gravity rooting you to the earth's
surface.
4) I breathe and
smile at myself. You can do this anytime: exhale and focus on your breathing. Notice
how it moves in and out of your body. Count breaths and smile internally.
You'll begin to get your perspective back.
5) I do something
for me. Have a cup of tea. Take a walk. Read a book. Move. Dance. Sing. Go out
into the garden. Look out the window. Do what works for you.
So maybe I could
have chosen one of those practices last Sunday at the pool. I could
have noticed myself winding up, smiled and relaxed. I could have minded my
own business instead of designating myself the "lane police." That's
what lifeguards are for.
Did I really need
to speak? Was I taking myself too seriously? I'm still not sure.
It was a ki moment, and I'm still learning from it. Maybe next time
(there will be a next time), I'll smile at myself,
relax, take a deep breath, and--like Dory says--"just keep swimming."
What practices help
you to stop taking yourself too seriously?
About the Author: Judy Ringer is the author of two
books, Turn Enemies into Allies: The Art of Peace in the Workplace and Unlikely
Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict
