Jim Rohn: THE LION ATTITUDE (PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT)

How Not to Take Yourself So Seriously: 5 Practices

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

-- Elbert Hubbard

Last week I was offered another lesson at the indoor pool where I swim. Sunday, it seems, has become everyone's favorite day. The pool was packed. Lane designations are important when it's crowded, and two lanes are reserved for slower, leisurely swimmers--like me.

So, I was in the first leisure lane with two other swimmers, while another very slow swimmer was in the second lane. Things were flowing well until three guys got into the second leisure lane with the slower swimmer. They were much faster and kept running into him--literally.

I got upset and finally spoke to the guys, who had gathered at the end of the pool as I was getting out. I was fairly centered, friendly, curious, and assertive. I asked if this was a new pool for them (no, they'd come a few times), and if they knew that some lanes were reserved for slower swimmers (yes, they knew that). Then, as if in reply to my silence, they said, "We're slow!" I laughed and said they seemed pretty fast to me. At the same moment, they noticed a swimmer leaving the medium lane and decided to move over.

I felt okay about the interaction. Glad that I'd had the courage of my convictions, and also wishing I'd been maybe a little more centered. I like to practice centering by thinking in percentages. And I was maybe 60-70% in that moment. If I'd been 100%, instead of laughing, I might have listened more, and then explained that in my experience at this pool, they were fast swimmers for that lane.

Rule #6

Benjamin Zander, conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, author and motivational speaker, writes about creating a life that works, and the influence we have in helping others to do the same. One of his lessons and best stories revolves around what he calls "Rule #6", which is:

Don't take yourself so g--damn seriously.

5 Practices

I'm pretty familiar with this mental habit of taking myself too seriously, and have five practices that help me catch myself. They fall into two categories:

Committed Practices

1) I meditate daily. A brief time to sit quietly and do nothing each day is restorative over the long term.

2) I exercise. Personally, I enjoy swimming and walking, and do one or both every day.

Rituals and Spontaneous Practices

3) I catch myself. I notice the mental or physical tension and relax. Try it now: lower your shoulders, lengthen your spine, and feel the weight of gravity rooting you to the earth's surface.

4) I breathe and smile at myself. You can do this anytime: exhale and focus on your breathing. Notice how it moves in and out of your body. Count breaths and smile internally. You'll begin to get your perspective back.

5) I do something for me. Have a cup of tea. Take a walk. Read a book. Move. Dance. Sing. Go out into the garden. Look out the window. Do what works for you.

So maybe I could have chosen one of those practices last Sunday at the pool. I could have noticed myself winding up, smiled and relaxed. I could have minded my own business instead of designating myself the "lane police." That's what lifeguards are for.

Did I really need to speak? Was I taking myself too seriously? I'm still not sure. It was a ki moment, and I'm still learning from it. Maybe next time (there will be a next time), I'll smile at myself, relax, take a deep breath, and--like Dory says--"just keep swimming."

What practices help you to stop taking yourself too seriously?

About the Author: Judy Ringer is the author of two books, Turn Enemies into Allies: The Art of Peace in the Workplace and Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10020104

Traits of a Self Directed Learner

What do Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and I have in common?

We're all self-directed learners. I've proudly been a self-directed learner since 1994 when I realised that no employer of mine was ever going to provide me with the training and development that I needed to make a success of my fledgling career. Twenty-five years' of self-directed learning and I do feel I've succeeded in evolving myself for the future and have done so through self-employment where I didn't officially have a training budget.

It's worked for me and will work for all future learners in the workplace, gone are the days when students gorged on company training programmes. The future is for those that make it happen.

Here are ten traits that you need to master to become a self-directed learner. In no particular order

1.     The first trait is initiative. If your learner has set themselves a goal to learn something, they have the initiative and capability to find suitable learning. They are adept at searching the internet for reading materials as well as audio and video and can also venture offline as well. They just seem to find what they're looking for. Care your "Great Wall of China" doesn't block anything of use value - most corporate IT departments block useful sites, they don't trust people.

2.     Independence comes next. With their learning goals in tow, self-directed learners don't need permission to learn; they feel empowered to do so. Some companies even provide a budget to further their independence. My employed position in 1997 awarded me with a training budget of £1,000, a year and I was trusted and empowered to use this to buy training. I used it to part fund my early NLP training.

3.     They network well. Possibly members of various associations and unions that provide relevant learning and development. Networking with fellow members and others provides ample learning opportunities sometimes over a coffee or fireside chat. Learning doesn't have to be formal. My best ideas and insights have come from spontaneous chats with people in my network, and my superior education events have come from my membership of three associations - PSA, SPA and AAISP. Google them.

4.     They embrace responsibility for their learning. The buck stops with them; no one else is going to help them develop, it's something they're accountable for.

5.     Self-directed learners plan their own development time. I devote a day a week to personal development, not every week, but on average. Only with this amount of time investment can I achieve my learning goals.

6.     They're curious to learn things. A goal can lead anywhere. Back in 2012, I committed to master how to create video for my business and boy was this a giant learning curve for me. Seven years' later I'm producing some half decent videos, but my curiosity took me to other areas beyond just video production. I'm currently exploring and using live streaming, so my video work streams live to YouTube and Vimeo. My curiosity also took me into Research and Development grants and tax advantages which have saved me a packet over the years.

7.     Self-learners don't mind starting something at 80% ready. Too many people start projects or activities when they believe they are 100% ready to go. Self-learners believe in learning as you go, and this often requires that you start something and learn/improve as you progress. That's the modern way. I watch some of my early incarnations of videos which are still on YouTube and compared to my current videos are quite awful. But at the time, they were new, interesting and achieved my objectives.

8.     Self-directed learners are good at erudition and can adopt basic study skills. I'm aware of my learning style acutely. I know that reading works for me, listening to podcasts gives me the freedom to learn where I want. I know I have to make notes when I learn, I use mindmaps (that's a technique I learnt way back in the nineties by reading some books). I work well in conferences and can listen to a really good speaker for hours. Incidentally, I don't do learning activities in groups - that's not my cup of tea. I'm very aware of how I learn.

9.     Self-directed learners understand the unlearning process. When you learn something new, you have to unlearn the old first. Otherwise, you're just piling on new on top of old, and you will struggle to see new ideas and innovations. Before you decide to learn something new, you unlearn the old. For example, when I was learning about trainer video, I had to unlearn all the presentation skills I learnt when performing in front of a group - interaction, questioning, eye contact, movement, gestures - do these things when being videoed and it'll all go wrong. On the video you look at the lens, keep your gestures minimal preferably nil and maximise your facial expressions and voice.

10.   Finally, I enjoy my learning. It can be hard work, tiring and prone to errors and mistakes but this is what gives me the benefits I seek. There's always a point, a scary moment when you don't understand what it is you're learning. This can cause stress, and you feel vulnerable. You have to drive yourself through this because with a tenacious attitude you will learn it.

With your people committed to self-directing and controlling their learning, the next step is to re-organise your learning and development offering to fit this learner. That'll come later once you've influenced the culture of your workforce first.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10079329