...the art of TRANSFORMING THE SELF to being you...
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Monday, December 2, 2019
Sunday, December 1, 2019
Saturday, November 30, 2019
Friday, November 29, 2019
Thursday, November 28, 2019
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
Tuesday, November 26, 2019
Monday, November 25, 2019
Sunday, November 24, 2019
TONY ROBBINS: How to Find Yourself When You're Feeling Lost (PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT)
Saturday, November 23, 2019
Friday, November 22, 2019
Thursday, November 21, 2019
Why Fear Prevents Us From Feeling The Wonderment Of The Present Moment
How To Disassociate
From Fear
Consider the last
time you experienced a fearful thought or emotion? Think about the situation
that caused you to experience this. Now, how did you feel twenty-four hours
following the event? Were you still experiencing the emotions or did your
attention move to something else? Fear is debilitating and can wreak havoc in
our lives if we are unaware. In this period of uncertainty, fear is projected
into our lives without our permission. The news and social media is filled with
catastrophic events worldwide. Fear is sold to us on the premise we will tune
in to the media networks that promote it and remain in a hypervigilant state.
But as you know, this comes at a cost to our sanity and long-term health.
Assuredly, we can find many situations to be concerned about in the world, yet
when we buy into the narrative fear promotes, it steals away the richness of
the present moment.
It is impossible to
experience the aliveness of the present when we are caught in fearful thoughts.
We are projected into the future and experience a cocktail of chemical
reactions that cause stress to the body. However, we can learn to turn down the
volume on fear by shifting our awareness to what is happening within us. By
this I mean, finding practices that help us disassociate from fear. For
example, I enjoy swimming and other forms of exercise. When I swim laps at my
local pool, I don't experience fearful thoughts and even in the ensuing hours,
I am still on a high. This is also true of other hobbies such as being
outdoors, reading and socialising with friends. I try to tune in to selective
news reports to remain informed of current events within my region and
globally. The internet is a wonderful medium that has brought freedom to our
lives but limited us in the way we interact with it. Many people develop addictions
to surfing the internet or scrolling through their phones. How about you? How
do you interact with social media and the news? How do you respond to bad news?
Do you feel sad or depressed? This is one effect of news addiction, it keeps us
hooked like poker machines with their flashing lights and sounds. But we have a
choice and can limit our exposure.
The Future Will
Take Care Of Itself
Fear steals away
the wonderment of the present moment and offers little in return other than
stress and disappointment. It is not a responsible giver but takes away our joy
and well-being. If we subscribe to the narrative it promotes, we have no choice
but to buy in to its way of life. When we do, we are at its mercy because it
has sold us a fictitious way of life based on one aspect of reality. Life is
not about fear and disasters because what we look for, we are certain to find.
If we go looking for negativity and disappointment, we will find it standing on
a street corner waving to get our attention. Though, if we look for joy, bliss
and happiness we must intentionally cultivate them and give them space to
flourish. As mentioned earlier, we ought to find activities or hobbies away
from technology that invigorate us. Constantly browsing the internet and
playing violent video games are not forms of joy and happiness. They are
escapism and addictions and we mustn't convince ourselves we are having fun.
Granted, if you are sixteen years old and wasting the afternoon after school
before your homework that is a different story. Nevertheless, peruse activities
that feed your soul and give you a sense of accomplishment and nurture feelings
of love. Find something that contributes to your personal growth rather than
stealing away time because you are bored.
Are you comfortable
with the ideas expressed so far? Does it make sense that exposing yourself to
fear diminishes your ability to enjoy the present moment since you are
transfixed on what can go wrong? The future will take care of itself. There is
nothing to do other than let go of disempowering thoughts and emotions, to
enjoy the wonderment of the present moment. Considering this, give some thought
to activities you could devote more attention to that nourishes your soul. What
habits would you like to reduce or eliminate altogether? Is it screen time on
your computer, TV or smart phone? If so, don't download an app to reduce your
screen time but make the intention to do so and follow through with it. After
all, fear will prevent us from feeling the aliveness of the present moment as
long as we create a home for it to flourish. We must let go of its negative
state so emotions like love, joy and happiness can fill the void.
Growing Gratitude: A Valuable Life Skill

What would life
look like if we experienced more gratitude? Imagine your satisfaction when
someone expresses gratitude for your efforts; or your contentment when feeling
happy about life, right in this moment. We can all have more of that because
growing gratitude is a valuable life skill we can learn!
The simple attitude
of gratitude is one of the most powerful creative energies we can work with. It
transforms our consciousness because energy flows to whatever we focus on, and
makes it grow.
Gratitude also
increases happiness. When we express genuine appreciation for the goodness we
already enjoy each day, we cultivate happiness in our lives.
Perhaps you have
not yet lost the twenty pounds you want to, but you have learned to make better
food choices. Or you have not yet found the love of your life, but you have
been blessed with loving relatives and friends.
It's a simple yet
powerful principle: You can develop more of what you desire in life by noticing
what you DO have already and growing an attitude of gratitude for that. You
have the power to create more of what you love by expressing genuine
appreciation for the good things you already have.
Expressing
gratitude is a learned skill. It is done not in a superficial or schmaltzy way,
but through genuinely heartfelt, eyeball-to-eyeball or heart-to-heart
connection. It involves appreciation delivered with real meaning rather than
some perfunctory mumblings or syrupy platitudes.
Just think of all
the meaningful things that you have already enjoyed today: the smell of coffee
that got you going, a warm shower, soft towels, a selection of clean clothes in
your closet, sunshine warming your face, tantalizing aromas all around, the
ability to walk and talk... there's so much to be grateful for!
Once the habit of
growing and showing attitude takes hold, you'll start noticing more and more of
life's blessings around you. Gratitude expands our hearts to notice more of
what we already have appreciation for.
Imagine how
relationships would be enhanced if you used the same approach to express
appreciation for the people in your life!
Take a few moments
to consider the relationships you're grateful for. Reflect on the qualities you
appreciate in each of your relatives and friends: the smile on a child's face,
the hug of a loved one, the spontaneous playfulness of a friend... and even
their individual ways of craziness! We can find something to be grateful for in
every person or situation.
I had an eccentric
great-aunt who had the knack for making keen observations about others at the
most inappropriate times. I used to blush in embarrassment at her unflinching
directness, yet when she was no longer able to attend family gatherings, her
special brand of candor was sorely missed. Only then did I realize how her
unique brand of eccentricity enriched our lives.
Perhaps there are a
few people with varying degrees of eccentricity populating your life as well.
They also have a role to fulfill -- even if it is to stretch your tolerance
level, teach patience or give you an opportunity to forgive! And yes, they
offer you an opportunity to grow more gratitude.
Expressing
gratitude is a priceless gift we can offer ourselves and others. Now is a
perfect time to express your gratitude to people who have touched your life.
Let them know what you love about them and how it makes you feel. You'll add
meaning to their lives while strengthening your relationships.
Growing gratitude
is indeed a valuable life skill we can learn to enhance our quality of life.
Wednesday, November 20, 2019
Tuesday, November 19, 2019
The English Prime Challenge
English Prime looks
and sounds just like the everyday English language we use with family, friends,
colleagues, acquaintances, and strangers, with one major exception, the verb
'to be' and all its variants, i.e., is, was, am, will be, etc., are removed. By
using English Prime, often referred to as E-Prime, one can communicate more
clearly and realistically than otherwise. The verb 'to be' creates the illusion
of absolute certainty and unequivocal truths. Sometimes, this is appropriate,
such as the statement, the flower is planted in the pot, or when describing
certain properties or qualities, such as the dog is hairy. Even then, the word
'hairy' can have many levels of meaning and as such is not terribly clear. When
used in the context of identity, the word 'is' becomes very problematic. For
example, the simple sentence 'John is a troublemaker' would appear to suggest
that John makes trouble all the time everywhere. Moreover, it suggests that
one's own perception of the situation should be taken as truth, which it is
not. Another person may perceive John as a goof off, but not a troublemaker.
A more accurate and
realistic statement about John's behavior might be something like, 'the way I
see it, John appears to behave as a troublemaker when at school.' This conveys
a point of view, in a given context, not an absolute universal truth; it
presents an appearance of behaviors which are interpreted by the observer as
being that of a troublemaker, in a particular setting; it does not imply
equality between John the person and a specific set of behaviors, in a specific
set of conditions. John may behave in a very helpful and compliant way with
friends outside of school. John is very helpful would contradict John is a
troublemaker. Which one true? Which one false? It depends on the observer, and
on the context, the conditions under which those behaviors are being observed.
Let's take another
simple example: The sky is blue. Although this may seem the common experience,
and does describe a property or quality of the sky, one would agree that the
sky exhibits many shades of blue, at different times of the day; at night one
would say the sky is black. E-Prime would remove the 'is' and replace it with
something like 'appears as.' The sky does only appear as blue at some times,
for many people, but not all people, at all times. By stating the sky is blue,
the presumption becomes that it appears as blue for all people at all times,
which it does not.
English Prime arose
in the mid 1960's out of General Semantics. Here is the main idea of General
Semantics: 'people can only know what they observe and experience when they
see, hear, touch, taste, smell, think, and feel, and furthermore, that what
they observe and experience can affect how they observe and experience in the
future. Because each person has different experiences throughout their lives,
they interpret their experiences differently' (wikipedia.org). This way of
understanding semantics (i.e., the science of meaning in language) aligns with
modern quantum physics, in that the observer and the observed influence each
other, that which we perceive becomes colored by the very act of perception
itself. We don't really experience an object as much as we experience our
interaction with an object. Just about everything we call reality exists as a
point of view, a perspective.
Another example,
simple in structure and yet potent in effect, 'I am depressed' becomes 'I feel
depressed.' There is a huge difference between being depressed and feeling
depressed. In the former, we are identified as depressed; in the latter, we are
experiencing a feeling or state of mind. Or, better yet, 'I feel depressed when
I make a mistake' adding a context, a condition to that state of mind. And,
even better than that, 'I experience feelings I label as depressing when I make
a mistake.' The statement 'I am depressed' has an unrealistic absolute-ness
about it. Some proponents of E-Prime have stated that improper use of the verb
'to be' creates a kind of 'deity mode of speech' which allows 'even the most
ignorant to transform their opinions magically into god-like pronouncements on
the nature of things' (wikipedia.org). Our point of view, our perspective,
the ways in which we as an individual interact with our world, may appear to us
as 'our truth' but, in fact, falls far short of Truth. Individual truth does
not exist. Individual perception, interpretation, point of view and meaning
does exist. Truth is; everything else: appears as. So, when you find yourself
saying something like so and so is a such and such, or that I am such and such.
Stop. Consider how you might phrase that using E-Prime. Take into account this
idea of personal perspective, point of view, context and conditions, not an
absolute, eternal fact. Up your game. Consider applying English Prime to your
written and spoken words. It will require some rethinking, and rewording, of
common phrases. The benefits include improved clarity of thought, speech and
communication. It even has benefits in the realms of mental health.
Monday, November 18, 2019
Gaining Self-Confidence - How to Stop Thinking Like a Victim
When it comes to
gaining your self-confidence it can be difficult to come by and easy to lose if
not nurtured and worked on continually. Self-confidence is vital when it comes to
feeling as if you are in charge of your of your life and with self-confidence,
you will feel more like the victor rather than the victim in life.
The victim's
mentality is the case where the individual does not take personal
responsibility for their life and feels that the world is against them or that
they need a lucky break to succeed in life. Whereas the self-confident
individual understands that they are in charge and that if they are to achieve
any goal in life they have the ability to work through whatever obstacles may
stand in their way. And they learn to either find a way or make a way.
To avoid thinking
like a victim, and to help you feel you are in control, rather than external
forces, and avoid feeling overwhelmed when it comes to achieving your lifetime
goals or taking on a project that seems insurmountable, begin by breaking down
the steps that you need to take to become successful.
By breaking down
your steps into smaller segments whether it is a daily or monthly goal, begin
by working on one particular project at a time until it is completed then start
another. By breaking down large projects or complicated ones, you begin to gain
more self-confidence as it will grow with every successful completion and you
begin to feel you have the upper hand in the situation rather than feeling like
the victim, overwhelmed and defeated.
To avoid feeling
like the victim in life and gaining more self-confidence with each passing day,
you have to learn to adapt and expect the unexpected in life. Becoming self-organized
and practicing good time management when it comes to completing projects or
getting rid of unnecessary problems and time-wasting activities in your life
will help you to learn to adapt and gain the self-confidence you need to be a
victor in life.
Time wasting
activities include staying away from negative thinking people who will try and
tell you you cannot do something or that the system is rigged. People that buy
into that philosophy end up living a life of victimhood and they love nothing
more than to drag you down to their level.
That's not for you,
by learning to think for yourself and staying clear of negative influences you
allow yourself to build your confidence by allowing yourself through decisive
action to prove that you can succeed and become more than you ever thought
possible.
So when it comes to
avoiding thinking like a victim in life, stay proactive, learn to take action
on your dreams, take the personal initiative to find ways to become successful
and in control of your life through a desire to become unstoppable and a
champion.
Sunday, November 17, 2019
Feeling Irritated and Judgmental? How to Find Clarity and Compassion
This post is part 3
of a 3-part series on raising your vibration, so you can live with more energy,
peace, health, love, joy, wisdom, and abundance-so you can be a powerful,
positive, transforming presence in our world.
Step One is
increasing your energetic charge, increasing the amount of energy you have. If
you are tired and depleted, you have little energy to give and no energy to
cultivate a higher frequency of being in this world. Step Two is to recognize
and release the tensions which interfere with the smooth and joyful flow of
this energy through your body, heart, and mind. In this article, we'll explore
Step Three-elevating the quality or frequency of your energetic vibration.
Your overall
energetic vibration is the sum total of where you are coming from at this
moment-the thoughts, feelings, intentions, and actions you are engaged in right
now. The frequency of your energetic vibration shapes how you see the world,
how you see others, and how you see yourself and your possibilities at this
moment. You'll notice I've added "at this moment" to this
description. This is because your energetic frequency is variable-it shifts
from moment to moment depending on what you focus on and how you relate to it.
For example, if you
look through a lens of fear and judgment, you'll notice evidence to back up
this point of view. You'll see the world as a threatening place to be and
anything that is different from you as a threat to your point of view. As a
result, you are likely to feel irritated and react defensively, combatively,
and judgmentally. You're likely to focus on defending your own safety by
sticking to who you know, what you know, and the comfort zone of known habitual
behaviors. In a certain sense this feels safe-even if it leads to more fear,
tension, and conflict.
In contrast, if you
look through a lens of appreciation, gratitude, and trust, you'll notice
evidence to back up this point of view. You'll see the world as an interplay of
diverse possibilities guided by benevolent forces greater than your own. You're
likely to welcome different perspectives, people, beings, and points of view as
teachers who can widen your perspective and expand your consciousness. Instead
of otherness being a threat, it's an invitation to heal from your own past pain
that leads to defensiveness. It opens you to forgiveness and compassion.
While your
energetic vibration is variable, you also have a baseline state-a vibratory
frequency in which you tend to rest. This is your dominant energetic frequency,
which is how you tend to look at life and to which you tend to return. In order
to more significantly and permanently raise your vibration, you need to shift
this baseline frequency-and this takes practice. Like anything you want to grow
in life, you need to repeatedly inhabit your desired energetic frequency until
it becomes your new normal-the state you tend to rest in and return to.
In my experience,
there are two related practices which take you there:
1) Cultivating
open, clear, spacious awareness
2) Inhabiting
specific, higher, energetic frequencies
Let's explore what
each of these means and how to practice them.
Open Clear Spacious
Awareness
If you're feeling
fearful, irritated, and judgmental, it's not likely you can just decide to feel
trusting, compassionate, and loving. That would be like having a muddy stream
and adding bright food coloring to it. You're just going to get a muddy version
of whatever color you add. Before you add color, you must first clean and clear
the stream.
First, it's important
to recognize and acknowledge your current perspective. Notice what you are
thinking, how this is making you feel and act, and the results of this way of
being. Is this the way you want to live?
If not, you can
decide to set aside your current perspective for a moment, so you can explore
other possibilities. You can momentarily let go of how you think things are, so
you can entertain alternatives. With this decision in place, it's time to clean
and clear your stream.
Here's a simple
practice. Take several moments to fully experience each step:
1. Sit comfortably
upright with the soles of your feet on the ground and parallel with each other.
Rest your hands cupped in your lap in a receptive posture. Commit to adopt a
mindful attitude for this practice: paying attention, on purpose, in the
present moment, non-judgmentally-like a curious observer.
2. Take a few,
slow, deep breaths, imagining your whole body fills up when you inhale and your
whole body empties out as you exhale.
3. Let go of your
breathing and feel your body as a whole from the inside. See if it's possible
to feel the entire space inside your skin. Allow a feeling of open, clear,
spacious awareness to spread out through your whole body. Allow any thoughts,
feelings, or sensations to dissolve in this open, clear, space. Allow this
space to expand to include the space around you...
4. As continue to
experience the open, clear space, listen to the silence underneath all sounds
within this space... Then, feel the stillness underneath all movement within
this space...
5. Within this
open, clear space ask, "Who is aware of this space?" See if it's
possible to become aware of the act of awareness itself. Become aware of
Awareness.
Now, keep in mind
that this is a practice. It is something you will get more skillful at the more
you experiment with it. At first, you may have momentary glimpses of this
experience. As you have this glimpse, see if you can sink deeper into this and
become completely absorbed in it.
When you are ready
to move to the second practice, first take a moment to mindfully notice how you
feel. Do you feel even a little more relaxed, open, clear, and spacious than
when you began?
Inhabiting
Specific, Higher, Energetic Frequencies
Now that you've
practiced cleaning and clearing your stream, it's time to inhabit a higher
energetic frequency. I suggest any one of the following: appreciation,
gratitude, trust, love, compassion, peace, light, or joy. Pick one you'd like to
experience and explore now.
Here's the
practice:
1. Return to the
experience of open, clear, spacious awareness. If you need to refresh any of
the steps above, you can do so.
2. Call to mind the
higher energetic frequency you want to experience. Say to yourself, "I
welcome ___ now."
3. Call to mind an
image which represents this state of being to you. What's the first image that
comes to mind when you think of your desired energetic frequency? Bring this
image into your heart and allow it to rest here. Notice how this image makes
you feel.
4. As you inhale,
imagine you are breathing the feeling of this energetic frequency into your
heart. As you exhale, imagine you are sending this energetic feeling outward
into every cell of your body.
5. Let go of your breathing
and soak in the sensation of this higher energetic frequency for as long as you
want.
Notice how you
feel...
As you engage in
these two practices of "Open, Clear, Spacious Awareness" and
"Inhabiting Higher Energetic Frequencies," you'll discover you can
learn to choose where you are coming from. You can choose to raise your
vibration and live from a higher energetic frequency.
I encourage you to
use these two meditative practices daily. Perhaps you can incorporate them into
your morning or bedtime routine? Soon you'll find yourself less and less
gripped by fear, irritation, and judgment and more and more drawn to trust,
compassion, and appreciation. You'll soon be living in a higher frequency
vibration more and more of the time. As you do so, you'll contribute to the
raising of consciousness of all beings and our whole planet.
Thank you for your
practice!
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