The problem:
One of my clients
called me a couple of days ago to discuss a case he is working on. A company
whose employees suffer from a certain type of fear at work wanted his help to
solve the issue. That fear freezes them at times and makes it impossible for
them to react properly with some clients. The managers are obviously desperate
to find some kind of tool that can help their workforce conquer that
limitation, as it's proving economically stressful and heavy on their results.
They've already worked with a big amount of coaches and mentors to no avail.
The employees learn the tools but still feel paralyzed when the moment to act
is there.
I encounter this
situation in many cases and companies. They hire professionals, expecting
change to happen, but it doesn't materialize. The issues are clearly defined
and the concepts and approaches seem perfect but no real transformation remains
after a short time. This is not only happening in organizations, though. A
similar result is observed with the millions of people who try to change their
outlook on life and the way they interact with the world by following courses
and attending seminars and workshops. They leave those events with a very clear
idea of what doesn't work in their lives and with the impression that their new
understanding of reality empowers them. Unfortunately, some time later most of
them find themselves repeating the same old patterns and facing the same old
stories. Only a very small few experience real long-lasting change. So, what is
not working in all the other cases? Is it that those professionals are mere
charlatans selling smoke? Not necessarily. I have another explanation for this.
The situation:
Most professionals
offer you some insights, tools or working sheets to use with the hope that
you'll be inspired and that such inspiration will miraculously lead you to
changing your engrained behaviors and reactions. The idea behind this is that
the new understanding will move you so deeply that your habits will suddenly
shift and change for ever. Sorry, things just don't usually work that way! It
took you years to acquire those reactions and procedures. They slowly became
part of your worldview and of your natural reactions. They will need much more
than just inspiration and "aha" moments to become established and
spontaneous. Sad to say, that is the part often neglected by many
professionals. They sell you the ingredients and maybe even share the recipe
with you, but then they leave you to bake the cake alone.
The explanation:
Behavior, both
spontaneous and calculated, is the result of our beliefs. Human beings act and
decide based on what they believe. Subconscious beliefs lead to
spontaneous reactions, whereas conscious ones result in controlled responses. What
most professionals usually offer their clients is strategies to work at the
conscious level. The tools and strategies they apply mainly attempt to change
the reaction to certain stimuli, instead of dealing with their underlying
causes. Their clients cognitively understand the process of their thoughts and
create alternative interpretations or connections to bypass the old ones. Then
some work is done with the new tools during the workshop or event and the
professional is gone. This explains why the change doesn't last, no matter how
clearly the subjects understand the mechanism. Except for some very rare
exceptions, whatever took so long to be established cannot be altered in just a
few inspirational moments. It's like offering a person a painkiller for an
ailment; the pain might momentarily go away but the real cause of the problem
will not be resolved.
Explained in very
simple terms, one could say that human beliefs follow one of two paths
to become established in the brain: repetition or emotion. Something
happens. The person tries to make sense of it by using all previous knowledge
stored in their memory. They thus deduct some kind of interpretation for the
situation they are encountering. If that interpretation is confirmed enough
times, it turns into a belief. The more times it is reaffirmed, the more firmly
is becomes established in the brain.
The second path,
the emotion one, is also quite easy to explain. Something happens and the
person feels something deeply, good or bad, but strong. If that emotion
is deep enough, it might shake the person's current belief and open their eyes
to a possible new interpretation and the establishment of new beliefs. A
good example of this is near-death experiences, accidents and the like. When
the person feels the strong emotion, new beliefs might be set.
When a belief is
established following both paths, it becomes much more firmly etched in the
human brain. Furthermore, as time goes by and those beliefs become strengthened
in time, their origin might be forgotten, turning them into subconscious
beliefs that the person is not even aware of.
Changing beliefs,
then, is not as easy as just understanding a new interpretation or even
choosing to see the world a different way. When the belief is firmly
rooted in our brain, it will try and stay there because that is what brains do;
they preserve our beliefs to safeguard our stability. Let's not forget that
actions and reactions are based on belief so, unless the inspiration is
accompanied by a very strong emotion or repeated enough times to overwrite the
old interpretation, nothing will truly change.
The solution:
Understanding and
helping human beings is not as simple as offering them pill-like
solutions. If transformation is needed, a deep understanding of human
beings is required to really target the problem, create the right solution and
implement it in a solid, effective way. Habits are hard to break and
they will remain active unless the right approach is used to uproot and replace
them.
My client will now
offer that company and well-grounded project to help their employees reach the
desired goals. Only complete processes will reach the outcome the company
wants, so that will also be included in the proposal.
Next time you seek
professional help for something like this, make sure that the solution is
long-lasting.
Enjoy life... ALL
of it,
