Timely Tips for Stepping Away From Perfectionism

Perfectionism's roots often lie in early childhood. Today I invite you to explore those roots as you begin to reduce your perfectionism using these 5 friendly tips.

We'll start by looking more closely at the verbal and nonverbal messages you received growing up. That will help you take the next step, as you identify the hidden agendas that sabotage you. These insights, in turn, free you to start replacing those undermining messages and agendas with clear intentions and supportive self-talk!

1. What Perfectionist Messages Were You Given as a Child?

Think back to when you were young and first experienced pressures to be perfect. What explicit, spoken messages did you receive about being perfect? List them, then ask yourself the following:

·         Who delivered these messages?

·         What was your response?

·         What patterns, springing from those days, do you continue in your adult life?

2. What Nonverbal Perfectionist Messages Influenced You?

What actions did you witness as a child that spurred your desire to be perfect? Was perfectionism modeled by important people in your life? Were you trying to compensate for some lack with perfection?

·         Describe what you observed and experienced.

·         How did you feel?

·         In what ways do you perpetuate this in your adult life?

Now, step back and appreciate the insights that you are opening yourself to. What lessons are you learning about the things that triggered your early desire to be "perfect"? Notice how, when you look at those ancient messages now, you can see just how outdated they are. This undercuts their power over you in the present!

3. Use Your Powers of Logic to Reduce Perfectionism.

You can overcome perfectionist paralysis with logical questions. The next time you say, "But it's still not perfect," ask yourself:

·         What would be perfect?

·         How would an impartial observer describe the project right now?

·         What does this tell you?

Perfectionism paralyzes, undermining your ability to move forward. No matter how essential your excessive standards might seem, they actually prevent you from achieving your potential.

So the next time you feel immobilized by perfectionism, use logic to create a positive foundation to move from.

4. Reclaim Your Power by Naming Your Hidden Agendas.

Self-defeating behaviors that stubbornly resist change often mask hidden agendas. Perhaps your strong desire to be perfect protects an illusion. Deep down, you might believe that "perfection" protects you from criticism. Or maybe focusing on tiny details helps you avoid challenges that feel scary. Of course, this illusion of safety comes at a steep price!

However, if the unreachable goal of perfection manifests in your life, it's probably because you thought it would somehow help you. Now you can claim the power to choose productivity and proactive strength rather than illusory and impossible perfection.

5. 3 Simple Questions Expose Hidden Agendas.

Ready to zero in on your hidden agendas? The ones that propel you toward perfectionism in your life today? Here are 3 questions that will help you uncover your unrealistic standards and create a path to move beyond the illusion of perfection. Remember to remain compassionate as you explore your answers. Your goal is to liberate yourself, not judge yourself!

1.     What are you trying to cover up by being perfect?

2.     What challenges do you face when you don't cover up?

3.     What benefits come from meeting these challenges with realism and resourcefulness?

Give yourself a few minutes to answer each question. What patterns do you discover?

Just look at all you've uncovered and learned. In childhood, you did your best to keep yourself safe. Now, invite yourself to stretch. As you leave perfectionism behind and explore brave new vistas, think of all you'll find!

And to move toward your Heart-Based Time Success, sign up for our free gift, The Finding Time Success Kit, which includes "The New Finding Time Boundary Template: 9 Simple, Sequential Steps to Find More Time and Recharge Your Energy!" Using a workbook format this powerful and practical time template helps you progress beyond disappointment and frustration. Discover that 24 hours really are enough!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10125084

Advance Your Career by Making an Internal Transfer

In difficult economic times, an internal transfer can provide many of the advantages of a new position without the risks of looking for a completely new job.

Consider these reasons for making an in-house move and strategies for accomplishing a successful transition.

Benefits of Making an Internal Transfer

1.     Learn new skills. Assuming a new role in your company gives you an opportunity to branch out. If you've been crunching numbers for the past few years, now is the time to master writing proposals.

2.     Expand your network. Changing departments will help to raise your visibility. Interacting with another team enables you to form new alliances while maintaining access to your old coworkers.

3.     Increase your job security. Many companies value a well-rounded employee. Seeing the business from multiple perspectives gives you an advantage in understanding how all the parts work together.

4.     Hold onto your benefits. If you've been in your current job for a while, you may have built up valuable benefits like extra vacation time. You may also like the idea of keeping your current health insurance and sticking with the same doctors.

5.     Feel more motivated. It's easy to get stale when you've been doing the same thing year after year. Enjoy the excitement of mixing things up.

6.     Take on new challenges. Whether your new position is a promotion or lateral move, it's a chance to test your abilities and grow.

7.     Minimize stress. In house options can be a pleasant blend of familiarity and change. You get to make a fresh start without the upheaval that goes along with starting over with a brand new company.

Strategies for Making Your Internal Transfer Successful

1.     Consider the whole picture. It's always nice to get a raise. It may be even more important to assess any transfer in terms of how it will advance your career in the long run and add to your job satisfaction. Evaluate all the factors involved.

2.     Make an impact. Get to know the priorities of your new supervisor and the culture of the unit. Hit the ground running by making contributions that will get noticed and demonstrate your worth.

3.     Get to know your new colleagues. Our relationships with our coworkers play a big part in whether we enjoy our work. Invite people out to lunch. Volunteer for assignments that enable you to work side by side with people you can learn from.

4.     Preserve old ties. If you've grown close to the people in your department, it's reassuring to know that you're sticking close to home. You can still get together to socialize and see each other around the office.

5.     Facilitate a smooth transition. Prepare a written report on your outstanding projects so your successor knows where to pick up. Make yourself available for any questions they may have.

6.     Address any discipline issues. While lateral moves can be a very good thing, they're sometimes viewed with caution because of cases where they cover up issues by transferring an employee rather than dealing directly with conflicts or deficiencies. Be honest with yourself and welcome feedback about areas where you need to improve.

7.     Reevaluate your goals. Whenever you shake up your routine, it can be a good opportunity to review all aspects of your life. You may decide you also want to take some adult education classes or exercise more.

When you're reluctant to switch employers, you can advance your career through an internal transfer. Look for opportunities in your current workplace and get off to great start in your new role with these tips.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10125345

Where You Are Meant To Be

Life has many challenges. People go through life facing all kinds of trials and hardships along with, hopefully, a good dose of the better things of life. When you get to the twilight years and the end is more near than far, you may realize that you are not where you wanted to be at the age where you now find yourself. Are you where you are meant to be? That is a question which faces people, but maybe they are exactly where they are meant to be at this point in their life.

Life may have tossed you some lemons along the way. You may not have gotten to the financial state that you expected to be in at the stage of life in which you arrived. You may think that life has not been fair. Well, life is not fair. Into every life some rain will fall. Sometimes downpours will come.

Difficulties, hardship, and challenges may slow us down from reaching our goals. They may take out some of the steam in moving forward. However, trials can make us stronger and give life purpose. They may help the resolve to achieve and succeed. Trials may help in preparing us for the next adventure in life. Overcoming trials may seem difficult, but in the long run will add to the strength of a person.

Believe in yourself and the fact that you are strong. You have done a lot in your life even if you feel that the accomplishments are not great. You have lived through many trials and have come out stronger.

Life will not always be a bowl of cherries, but there will be many good aspects of life. There will be happy times and joy in living. The opposite might also be true.

Instead of lamenting the fact that you may not be where you wanted to be, just continue to grow and progress. You may be where you were meant to be in life. You also may have a long way yet to go. There is no reason to ever give up even through the difficult times. Keep the hope and faith strong to continue the quest.

Americans of Japanese descent were not where they wanted to be during World War II when they were incarcerated in the American concentration camps in desolate areas of the United States. They were not meant to be locked up and watched over by armed guards. They had done no wrong and were persecuted only for their ethnicity. The trials were too great for some to endure. However, most people persevered and kept the faith that things would get better. When they were finally released after their years in captivity, they moved on and worked hard so that they could achieve their dreams of where they were meant to be. It was not easy, but it was worth it to keep trying.

Trials come to everyone. Learn about the trials which came to Japanese Americans by checking out this book of speeches and articles about the Japanese American and Asian American story. It includes facts about the mistreatment of Japanese Americans during World War II and how they persevered during difficult times. This was a period when the Constitution did not protect innocent citizens and immigrants who faced severe prejudice and racism. The book covers civil rights issues and is available on Amazon. Information on the book and other related books may be found at the website: http://www.thejapaneseamericanstory.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10144179

The Only Way Out Of Judgement Is Through The Power Of Gratitude

Judgement And Gratitude Are Opposing Forces

Did you know that judgement impairs our ability to identify what is really taking place in a situation? We may not have the full details and are likely to judge something based on limited information. We tend to distance ourselves through our judgements and become disillusioned with what we find. For example, it is easier to judge another person than to know them on a deeper level. This is because it requires a commitment to invest ourselves and we might be disappointed if the other person does not reciprocate. Therefore, judgement keeps us safe because we transfer our feelings of fear, shame and guilt onto others to make ourselves feel better. This comes at a cost of alienating ourselves instead of building stronger connections.

The way out of judgement is through the power of gratitude, which helps us see things through a different lens. Gratitude opens the door to our hearts and helps us consider things from a different perspective. It softens us in places where we were rigid. A heart filled with gratitude is unlike a heart filled with judgement, fear and anger. In fact, the heart does not harbour these emotions as much as the mind does through its ego attachment. Consequently, judgement and gratitude are opposing forces. One is the realm of the ego and the other is expressed through authentic goodness and compassion. Have you experienced something similar in your own life? Perhaps you judged another person wrongly and realised later there was more to the person than meets the eye? It is common to react this way and psychologist say it is attributed to an evolutionary role within our brains that screens for negativity.

Be More Tolerant And Grateful Of Others

But how can we overcome our judgement to perceive things more clearly? Surely, judgement hinders our experience of life? The key to recognising our judgement lies in being mindful of our thoughts. I often tell coaching clients when they notice themselves judging, to stop and ask a simple question: "What am I not seeing in this situation?" This helps us notice where we are blinded by our bias and unable to see the truth. It is my experience that judgement occurs mainly in our interaction with people. We are unaware of other people's motives and agendas because we bring our own distorted thinking to the process. Most times, we prefer to be right than wrong, even if it means upholding erroneous thoughts.

This was evident with the disgraced seven time Tour de France winner, Lance Armstrong who convinced himself and others he did not cheat. He went to great lengths to dismiss his use of illegal performance-enhancing substances. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, he said that his lies were so convincing they eventually become truth. This example shows the complexity of human beings where a lie can be believed with such conviction that it becomes our truth. But as you know, upholding a lie is harder than speaking the truth. In contrast, the power of gratitude allows us to shift our attention to the truth, even if it means our feelings will be hurt. Gratitude helps us become aware of opportunities, even if we have to look hard, there is always something to appreciate. Gratitude flips the switch from fear and judgement to compassion and understanding. It is the bridge whereupon friendships and tolerance is born.

To cross the bridge from judgement to gratitude requires openness and awareness. The openness to trust we don't completely understand what is taking place. The awareness that we are judging something to appease ourselves or minimise another's self-worth. Through an expanded awareness, we recognise our habituated thoughts patterns and are able to break the cycle. We move from the egoic need to judge something or someone and into our hearts where all possibilities exist. We learn to be more tolerant and grateful of others instead of believing in a fabricated lie. The more we understand something, the more tolerant we become of ourselves and others. Tolerance leads to forgiveness and empathy which are the seeds of soulful living.

With that in mind, I'd like you to consider a current situation in which you have judged something or someone unfairly. How could you see things differently and appreciate what is taking place behind the scenes? What action could you take to come from a place of gratitude and compassion instead of judgement and fear? Sometimes, the smallest action requires making eye contact with another person. Notice the difference in your body and how you feel when you move into your heart instead of your head? It is only when we let go of judgement that the power of gratitude opens the door to our heart and brings the awareness to see things exactly as they are.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10146297

6 Ways To Become A Better Listener

The first way to become a better listener is to listen to learn - don't listen to be polite. Listen from a place of curiosity about generosity. In fact, learn about the person talking and less time listening to think of an opportunity to speak. Truly understand first. True dialogue doesn't happen when we pretend to listen and it certainly can't happen if we're not listening at all and only preparing to speak. If you ever finished a conversation and learned nothing surprising you truly weren't listening in the first place.

The second point is that of quieting your own agenda. To really listen to somebody else is trying to say we need information that is dis-confirming to our own agenda not confirming it. We need to think about what the other person is saying so that we can better understand what it is they're trying to present not looking for other things that they're saying that we confirm our own agenda.

We can do this by asking more questions. The more questions we ask the more answers we can receive.When you put yourself in this place you take yourself out of authority in the situation and created a situation where they're the ones that are in control. When you ask questions, you create a safe space for other people to give you an unvarnished truth.

Another things you will want to focus on is your talk versus you're listening ratio. Pay attention to your talk/listening ratio. Strive for a 2:1 ratio of listening/ talking. If you can talk for a minute then listen for two minutes. This allows the other person to know how important they are to you. This will in return also allow you to better understand their heart in the situation.

An easy way to do this is repeat what you've heard. This is also called active listening. Repeat back to the speaker exactly what you heard. You can do it identical to what they just said, but then you sound like a silly parrot.

If I were to say, "The other day I went and I talked to Mary about grocery shopping list. She told me what she was going to get."

A way to actively listen...

"So you're telling me that Mary told you what she was picking up at the grocery store yesterday when you talk to her?"

It's good if the speaker agrees with what you heard. Then she/he feels validated that you are listening and you can move forward in the conversation. If not, the speaker would need to reitterate what their statement to the listener really was.

Another key thing is that most people do not to wait until the other person is done talking. We live in a culture and society here in America in which we always talk over one another in such a way nobody actually finishes a full thought or sentence. Therefore, there is no clear communication. Actually wait until someone is done talking before you choose to respond to them. The most difficult aspect of listening effectively is waiting for the end of a sentence before formulating a reply.

If you work on these few six steps of becoming a better listener you will see a massive improvement in communication skills that you have with family, friends, and co-workers.

As an author and speaker, Chad Nedland ministers as God leads. Teaching of the fullness of a life with God and edifying the body of Christ is his life's definite purpose.

His greatest passion is encouraging and challenging other believers to walk in the fullness of their calling and identity in Christ. His goal is to never have a conversation or interaction with someone that does not change something within them, drawing them closer to God.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10160301

Do You Really Believe a Workshop Will Change Your Life?

The problem:

One of my clients called me a couple of days ago to discuss a case he is working on. A company whose employees suffer from a certain type of fear at work wanted his help to solve the issue. That fear freezes them at times and makes it impossible for them to react properly with some clients. The managers are obviously desperate to find some kind of tool that can help their workforce conquer that limitation, as it's proving economically stressful and heavy on their results. They've already worked with a big amount of coaches and mentors to no avail. The employees learn the tools but still feel paralyzed when the moment to act is there.

I encounter this situation in many cases and companies. They hire professionals, expecting change to happen, but it doesn't materialize. The issues are clearly defined and the concepts and approaches seem perfect but no real transformation remains after a short time. This is not only happening in organizations, though. A similar result is observed with the millions of people who try to change their outlook on life and the way they interact with the world by following courses and attending seminars and workshops. They leave those events with a very clear idea of what doesn't work in their lives and with the impression that their new understanding of reality empowers them. Unfortunately, some time later most of them find themselves repeating the same old patterns and facing the same old stories. Only a very small few experience real long-lasting change. So, what is not working in all the other cases? Is it that those professionals are mere charlatans selling smoke? Not necessarily. I have another explanation for this.

The situation:

Most professionals offer you some insights, tools or working sheets to use with the hope that you'll be inspired and that such inspiration will miraculously lead you to changing your engrained behaviors and reactions. The idea behind this is that the new understanding will move you so deeply that your habits will suddenly shift and change for ever. Sorry, things just don't usually work that way! It took you years to acquire those reactions and procedures. They slowly became part of your worldview and of your natural reactions. They will need much more than just inspiration and "aha" moments to become established and spontaneous. Sad to say, that is the part often neglected by many professionals. They sell you the ingredients and maybe even share the recipe with you, but then they leave you to bake the cake alone.

The explanation:

Behavior, both spontaneous and calculated, is the result of our beliefs. Human beings act and decide based on what they believe. Subconscious beliefs lead to spontaneous reactions, whereas conscious ones result in controlled responses. What most professionals usually offer their clients is strategies to work at the conscious level. The tools and strategies they apply mainly attempt to change the reaction to certain stimuli, instead of dealing with their underlying causes. Their clients cognitively understand the process of their thoughts and create alternative interpretations or connections to bypass the old ones. Then some work is done with the new tools during the workshop or event and the professional is gone. This explains why the change doesn't last, no matter how clearly the subjects understand the mechanism. Except for some very rare exceptions, whatever took so long to be established cannot be altered in just a few inspirational moments. It's like offering a person a painkiller for an ailment; the pain might momentarily go away but the real cause of the problem will not be resolved.

Explained in very simple terms, one could say that human beliefs follow one of two paths to become established in the brain: repetition or emotion. Something happens. The person tries to make sense of it by using all previous knowledge stored in their memory. They thus deduct some kind of interpretation for the situation they are encountering. If that interpretation is confirmed enough times, it turns into a belief. The more times it is reaffirmed, the more firmly is becomes established in the brain.

The second path, the emotion one, is also quite easy to explain. Something happens and the person feels something deeply, good or bad, but strong. If that emotion is deep enough, it might shake the person's current belief and open their eyes to a possible new interpretation and the establishment of new beliefs. A good example of this is near-death experiences, accidents and the like. When the person feels the strong emotion, new beliefs might be set.

When a belief is established following both paths, it becomes much more firmly etched in the human brain. Furthermore, as time goes by and those beliefs become strengthened in time, their origin might be forgotten, turning them into subconscious beliefs that the person is not even aware of.

Changing beliefs, then, is not as easy as just understanding a new interpretation or even choosing to see the world a different way. When the belief is firmly rooted in our brain, it will try and stay there because that is what brains do; they preserve our beliefs to safeguard our stability. Let's not forget that actions and reactions are based on belief so, unless the inspiration is accompanied by a very strong emotion or repeated enough times to overwrite the old interpretation, nothing will truly change.

The solution:

Understanding and helping human beings is not as simple as offering them pill-like solutions. If transformation is needed, a deep understanding of human beings is required to really target the problem, create the right solution and implement it in a solid, effective way. Habits are hard to break and they will remain active unless the right approach is used to uproot and replace them.

My client will now offer that company and well-grounded project to help their employees reach the desired goals. Only complete processes will reach the outcome the company wants, so that will also be included in the proposal.

Next time you seek professional help for something like this, make sure that the solution is long-lasting.

Enjoy life... ALL of it,

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10151271

Why It's Always Too Early To Quit

Don't Approach Your Ambitions Half-Heartedly

The late American minister Norman Vincent Peale summed it up best in his book You Can If You Think You Can, writing a chapter titled: It's Always Too Early To Quit. He was making the case for persisting instead of quitting ahead of time. Although the advice is relevant, it will depend on the circumstances we face. For example, if you are in a business losing money, it might be wise to quit and channel your energy into another venture. There are other options which may require pivoting the business in a different direction but with the same principles. Think about this in your own life. Are there areas where you want to give up? It might be related to: a relationship, career, family situation, education or something else?

Consider what you aim to achieve by quitting? Do you relieve yourself of the stress and burden associated with it? A business mentor I worked with some time ago used the following metaphor to explain our relationship to goals. He would say goals are like swimming in the open water from one land area to another. During the swim we will find ourselves at the midway point and far from the finish line. We cannot see our destination but know it is there. He said there are two options available to us: continue to swim toward our destination knowing we will eventually arrive or give up and swim back to our starting point. It is what many of us experience regularly with our goals. Even if we have not achieved success, it does not mean we are not making progress.

I've had a personal ambition to be an internationally acclaimed author and one day write a best-selling book. Whilst I'm yet to achieve it, I have accomplished other successes that represent milestones towards my goals. I wrote three books which were published independently, each of them with forewords written by internationally acclaimed authors. The point I wish to make is that progress is progress, no matter how slow we are working towards our goals. Success and achievement can sometimes fall into our lap when we least expect it. However, we must be in the arena working consistently and not rest on our laurels. We cannot approach our ambitions half-heartedly because the universe will deliver less than desirable outcomes. Consider this in your own life. Are their goals or projects you've been working on without signs of success? How does this affect your enthusiasm? Are you still passionate and committed to them?

Light The Fire Of Passion And Enthusiasm

I don't intend to explain why quitting is the easy way out because sometimes quitting is the only way out. It will depend on the circumstances and what we set out to achieve. Personally, I have a burning desire to promote self-empowerment and help others awaken their highest potential, through writing and speaking. I am committed to my dream, irrespective of the obstacles and challenges I face. And yes, there have been many setbacks over the years. I've come close to quitting and the only thing that stopped me was a good night's sleep. I've read countless books on those who endured similar challenges and succeeded. I've also read biographies of those who persisted and failed. The one true constant I can draw from my experience is that if you have an itch, you must scratch it until you are satisfied you have done your best. Until then, keep pursuing your goals until you realise them or can no longer take the pain.

How are you feeling about this? Are you getting a sense that your dreams and goals are not something to be taken lightly but pursued with passion and persistence? I don't know the answer to whether or not you should quit. In fact, in my coaching sessions, I often tell clients I can help them push the needle as close to success as possible, but I cannot guarantee it, since there are many factors outside of our control. Besides, I wouldn't want to make that promise and I would caution you to beware of those that do. For example, we cannot control the economy, nor life's forces acting upon us. We cannot control whether we succumb to illness or other circumstances that derail our progress. What we can do, is to light the fire of passion and enthusiasm and make sure we show up to the task at hand. We can honour our best intentions, irrespective of the outcome. We show up diligently, knowing what we put our mind and heart to will transpire in the best way, or at the very least teach us valuable insights.

Quitting early relieves us of the ability to give ourselves wholeheartedly to our goals and dreams. It robs us of our fighting spirit because we learn to take the path of least resistance, instead of the one lined with courage, hope and persistence. Life is replete with setbacks, challenges and sometimes, suffering and denials. But this mustn't stop us from pursuing what we are passionate about. Because if you truly want something, as the Brazilian author Paulo Coelho wrote in The Alchemist, the entire universe will conspire in helping you to achieve it. With that in mind, I invite you to consider areas of your life where you want to quit. How could you reframe your relationship with quitting? How can you develop greater resiliency and grit? It was Winston Churchill who once said: "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." Therefore, how can you stay inspired and intentional about your goals and ambitions? The key to your success lies in your intrinsic motivation and it is only when you answer that question, will you discover whether or not it is too early to quit.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10156836

Minimise Your Fear of Presenting With These Simple Confidence Building Tools

Do you also get nervous or fear presenting in public?

Whether you are a CEO, consultant or a soccer mom you not alone!

My friend Andy Lopata even wrote a book called, "And Death Came Third"; based upon an old NY Times survey. It revealed that those who were asked felt speaking in front of colleagues, followed by speaking in front of strangers, were both feared more than death itself!

Now a few decades later, most basic presentation courses still focus on word choice, structure and rhetoric. But when it comes to your pounding heart, lack of breath, sweaty palms and shaky knees, the best solution still offered for your nervousness is, "Practice makes perfect". Understanding and practicing presentation structure and rhetoric definitely helps to minimize your fear of speaking, but will that do it for you?

It didn't for me; especially after my classmates forced me from the stage when my mouth froze shut from the terror I felt from presenting our report. Since that nightmarish experience, I have been studying the mechanics of body language, especially focusing on presentation technique. For over 20 years now, I have held successful workshops in effective presentation technique and efficient body language. For me, the positive comments and presents I have received from happy, empowered participants seems proof that if we can now enjoy presenting, so can you!

So, if you wish to empower yourself to better express your message at a parent/teacher meeting, want to feel even more at home presenting to prospective, yet skeptical buyers or calm down angry shareholders, below are four simple, almost boring tools. Each tool can drastically and effectively help you calm you down and empower you to deliver a clearer, more powerful and actionable message.

These four simple but effective tools to handle your presentation fears are:

· Inspired breathing

· Serve more and perform less

· Remain present

· Unite rather than separate from your listeners

These tools may first appear to be too simple and boring to consider. If so, consider this, how good have all those complicated and expensive tools worked in relieving your presentation nervousness? Even worse, how many times have you bit your tongue and remained silent on something important because you were too scared to speak out?

If you are serious about enhancing your self-expression and getting more stuff done, then simply try the following:

Inspired Breathing:

You can either inspire yourself and others by breathing more, or you can stop breathing and hope to survive your presentation. Beware that if you stop breathing long enough, you will expire. The more and deeper you breathe, the more you relax. The more you relax, the more each cell in your body will resonate with your message.

Just like a flute, saxophone or tuba, the more air that flows through a wind instrument, the richer its tone becomes. By using our lungs, vocal chords and mouth, aren't we also wind instruments? Yet we sometimes get nervous or scared and when we do, we breathe less or stop breathing altogether. The more air used also allows for better sound control.

Practice breathing more deeply and consciously to inspire both yourself and those listening. The more relaxed you become, the more easily your message will resonate. The more of you that resonates, the more each of your cells vibrate with your message.

Isn't it true for you too that the deeper and richer the speaker's voice is, the more easily you believe the speaker's message? Consciously take in more air and see if you too resonate more inspiration and believeability.

Serve More and Perform Less:

Standing for and presenting from a platform of service, rather than trying to perform for your ego is a surefire way to calm your fears while increasing your presentation efficiency. Performing, in this case, means trying to please your ego. Ego shows up as that little voice in your head. The one that constantly tells you what you should do and what you could have done better. In reality, this is your internal thought process and only exists deep inside your head. It has nothing to do with the reality of those people listening to you here and now. That voice is an abstraction buried in your mind. Reality is where measurable change can occur.

The more you train to focus upon serving those listening in front of you with a healthy dose of curiosity and intention, the more you can consciously connect with them and create measurable results. Just like a waiter who "disappears" into the background of a tasty dinner conversation, serving your listeners allows you to "disappear" into their richer and more actionable experience. With practice, increasing your level of service also lowers the volume of your little, internal voice and lessens the fear of the scary thoughts it imparts. Thus, serving more and performing less is a win/win for you and your listener.

Remaining Present:

Staying present with your audience rather than retreating up into your thoughts and fears is the most effective way to reduce or eliminate your fear of presenting. Presence allows you to communicate better. What scares us most is not presenting, but our fear about all those thoughts of what can go wrong when we do. Again, if you can eliminate that little voice in your head representing ego and increase your level of service, you will automatically dampen or eliminate the source of your fears.

Simple, right? Not if you are sure that little voice is you!

Yet, is this true?

What if that voice is just a program containing a bunch of scary thoughts?

Keep in mind that if that little voice is you, then who do you suppose is listening?

When you really begin to distinguish that little voice and all those scary thoughts as a program, or just another subset of you, you can then begin to adjust or pay less attention to them. You become the programmer rather than the program.

Then you can also change the channel and tune into empowering thoughts instead.

Finally, just as if you happen to lose your arm, you would still be you, right?

The same goes when you remain present by training to pay less attention to what's going on between your ears and focus more on serving who is in front of you. Remaining present eliminates distance between you and your listeners and allows you to effectively tackle their concerns, here and now.

Uniting with rather than separating from your listeners:

Connecting more with your listeners by using the above tools is an effective way to unite with your audience. Now, physically walk towards them and you will also sense an increase in connection. Practice asking them more thoughtful questions, listen attentively to their answers and watch your engagement with each other develop further. All of these simple service tools and tips will bring you closer together. They will help create stronger feelings and deepen the relationship between you and your listeners. After all, who do you trust and believe in more, someone you feel you have a relationship with, or someone trying to separate themselves from you?

Still not convinced?

Stand in front of a full-length mirror. Cross your arms and move away from your image. Get a sense how more distance increases your feeling of separation.

Now, walk towards your image, take a few inspiring breaths of air and open up your arms and unite with that person you see. Sense any difference now?

Be more present, inspire, serve, and unite more and enjoy speaking

How many times have you heard others talk about all of these simple tools?

Yet how often have you consciously applied them when standing up and speaking?

Each one alone is powerful, so you can begin by practicing your favorite. Notice how much more connected you feel. Begin combining them and marvel at your increasing level of self-confidence. Take on mastering them and enjoy how much richer your life gets.

This article contains just a few of the many tools and tips found in my latest book, "Presentation Nervousness to Confidence, Consciously Preparing & Delivering Sensational Presentations", available on Bookboon.com (link:

https://bookboon.com/en/presentation-nervousness-to-confidence-ebook )

it's free when signing up for a 30 day trial membership. Thanks for reading this article and I invite you to leave a comment and review, both here and on Bookboon.com..

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