Do you also get
nervous or fear presenting in public?
Whether you are a
CEO, consultant or a soccer mom you not alone!
My friend Andy
Lopata even wrote a book called, "And Death Came Third"; based upon
an old NY Times survey. It revealed that those who were asked felt speaking in
front of colleagues, followed by speaking in front of strangers, were both
feared more than death itself!
Now a few decades
later, most basic presentation courses still focus on word
choice, structure and rhetoric. But when it comes to your pounding heart, lack
of breath, sweaty palms and shaky knees, the best solution still offered for
your nervousness is, "Practice makes perfect". Understanding
and practicing presentation structure and rhetoric definitely helps to minimize
your fear of speaking, but will that do it for you?
It didn't for me;
especially after my classmates forced me from the stage when my mouth froze
shut from the terror I felt from presenting our report. Since that nightmarish
experience, I have been studying the mechanics of body language, especially
focusing on presentation technique. For over 20 years now, I have held
successful workshops in effective presentation technique and efficient body
language. For me, the positive comments and presents I have received from
happy, empowered participants seems proof that if we can now enjoy presenting,
so can you!
So, if you wish to
empower yourself to better express your message at a parent/teacher meeting,
want to feel even more at home presenting to prospective, yet skeptical buyers
or calm down angry shareholders, below are four simple, almost boring tools. Each
tool can drastically and effectively help you calm you down and empower you to
deliver a clearer, more powerful and actionable message.
These four simple
but effective tools to handle your presentation fears are:
· Inspired
breathing
· Serve more and
perform less
· Remain present
· Unite rather than
separate from your listeners
These tools may
first appear to be too simple and boring to consider. If so, consider this, how
good have all those complicated and expensive tools worked in relieving your
presentation nervousness? Even worse, how many times have you bit your tongue
and remained silent on something important because you were too scared to speak
out?
If you are serious
about enhancing your self-expression and getting more stuff done, then simply
try the following:
Inspired Breathing:
You can
either inspire yourself and others by breathing more, or you
can stop breathing and hope to survive your presentation.
Beware that if you stop breathing long enough, you will expire. The
more and deeper you breathe, the more you relax. The more you relax, the more
each cell in your body will resonate with your message.
Just like a flute,
saxophone or tuba, the more air that flows through a wind instrument, the
richer its tone becomes. By using our lungs, vocal chords and mouth, aren't we
also wind instruments? Yet we sometimes get nervous or scared and when we do,
we breathe less or stop breathing altogether. The more air used also allows for
better sound control.
Practice breathing
more deeply and consciously to inspire both yourself and those listening. The
more relaxed you become, the more easily your message will resonate. The more
of you that resonates, the more each of your cells vibrate with your message.
Isn't it true for
you too that the deeper and richer the speaker's voice is, the more easily you
believe the speaker's message? Consciously take in more air and see if you too
resonate more inspiration and believeability.
Serve More and
Perform Less:
Standing for and presenting
from a platform of service, rather than trying to perform for
your ego is a surefire way to calm your fears while increasing your
presentation efficiency. Performing, in this case, means trying to
please your ego. Ego shows up as that little voice in your head. The one that
constantly tells you what you should do and what you could have done better. In
reality, this is your internal thought process and only exists deep
inside your head. It has nothing to do with the reality of those people
listening to you here and now. That voice is an abstraction buried in your
mind. Reality is where measurable change can occur.
The more you train
to focus upon serving those listening in front of you with a healthy dose of
curiosity and intention, the more you can consciously connect with them and
create measurable results. Just like a waiter who "disappears" into
the background of a tasty dinner conversation, serving your listeners allows
you to "disappear" into their richer and more actionable experience.
With practice, increasing your level of service also lowers the volume of your
little, internal voice and lessens the fear of the scary thoughts it imparts.
Thus, serving more and performing less is a win/win for you and your listener.
Remaining Present:
Staying present
with your audience rather than retreating up into your thoughts and fears is
the most effective way to reduce or eliminate your fear of presenting. Presence
allows you to communicate better. What scares us most is not presenting, but
our fear about all those thoughts of what can go wrong when we do. Again, if
you can eliminate that little voice in your head representing ego and increase
your level of service, you will automatically dampen or eliminate the source of
your fears.
Simple,
right? Not if you are sure that little voice is you!
Yet, is this true?
What if that voice
is just a program containing a bunch of scary thoughts?
Keep in mind that
if that little voice is you, then who do you suppose is listening?
When you really
begin to distinguish that little voice and all those scary thoughts as a
program, or just another subset of you, you can then begin to adjust or pay
less attention to them. You become the programmer rather than the program.
Then you can also
change the channel and tune into empowering thoughts instead.
Finally, just as if
you happen to lose your arm, you would still be you, right?
The same goes when
you remain present by training to pay less attention to what's going on between
your ears and focus more on serving who is in front of you. Remaining present
eliminates distance between you and your listeners and allows you to
effectively tackle their concerns, here and now.
Uniting with rather
than separating from your listeners:
Connecting more
with your listeners by using the above tools is an effective way to unite with
your audience. Now, physically walk towards them and you will also sense an
increase in connection. Practice asking them more thoughtful questions, listen attentively
to their answers and watch your engagement with each other develop further. All
of these simple service tools and tips will bring you closer together. They
will help create stronger feelings and deepen the relationship between you and
your listeners. After all, who do you trust and believe in more, someone you
feel you have a relationship with, or someone trying to separate themselves
from you?
Still not
convinced?
Stand in front of a
full-length mirror. Cross your arms and move away from your image. Get a sense
how more distance increases your feeling of separation.
Now, walk towards
your image, take a few inspiring breaths of air and open up your arms and unite
with that person you see. Sense any difference now?
Be more present,
inspire, serve, and unite more and enjoy speaking
How many times have
you heard others talk about all of these simple tools?
Yet how often have
you consciously applied them when standing up and speaking?
Each one alone is
powerful, so you can begin by practicing your favorite. Notice how much more
connected you feel. Begin combining them and marvel at your increasing level of
self-confidence. Take on mastering them and enjoy how much richer your life gets.
This article
contains just a few of the many tools and tips found in my latest book,
"Presentation Nervousness to Confidence, Consciously Preparing &
Delivering Sensational Presentations", available on Bookboon.com (link:
https://bookboon.com/en/presentation-nervousness-to-confidence-ebook )
it's free when
signing up for a 30 day trial membership. Thanks for reading this article and I
invite you to leave a comment and review, both here and on Bookboon.com..
